Since my blog last week was sub par, I decided to do it again and at thenend I will give an update of the progress I have made. I'm not sure if I will be able to tune in this week for class, Wednesday is a travel day for me to a seminar/conference.
The University of Arkansas - Division of Agriculture seeks funding to support a three-year effort to address the safety of youth in Arkansas who live or work on farms. This educational program will contain 4 objectives: 1 - To educate youth on achieving safer practices around machinery, 2 - To encourage youth to achieve safer practices around animals 3 - To create an awareness of dangers and consequences of poor consequences, and 4 - To create a suitable knowledge base so that youth can teach other youth while working on farms.
As an update for my project, I have identified a faculty member who is familiar with this grant who has stated that she is willing to serve as principle investigator. Also, I have started indentifying some keywords to include along with specifics that the USDA looks for in their grants. The timeline will need to be updated to meet a couple of the changes that were made. I am also indentifying some statistics to include in proposal.
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I think you have a good descriptive statement of what the grant funding will do, but I think you lost some of the sense of the severity of the problem which you want to solve in this new draft. Your first paragraph gave a much better idea of why this problem needs to be addressed... lives are at stake. In the rewrite, you need to provide some information as to why the grant should be funded, what problem it will solve. Maybe a combination of the two paragraphs would be the solution. Also on objective 3 you use the word 'consequences' twice. I think maybe you mean something like 'decisions' on the second instance.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that you're seeing your blog as a place to revise your thoughts and work with your ideas more. Good objectives; can each of those be measured? Might move forward at a quickened pace. We're nearing the half-way mark of the course.
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